I am far from home in the mid west and absolutely dumbfounded by the total apathy regarding the anniversary of 9/11 here.  We live 10 hours from NYC, and 170 miles south of the Pentagon and not one 9/11 has passed by without our lives virtually grinding to a halt starting at 8:45am and going on for the next hour as we mark the 4 planes that went down that day.  People pull cars over and stop.  They stand in the streets and in stores.  But they stop. They take 60 seconds and they remember.

This morning, as I listened to Taps on CBS, all I heard was happy chatter from my fellow business travelers all around me.  I guess they’ve forgotten what it was like to see people choose to fall 1000 feet to their deaths rather than burn to death in a gutted skyscraper.  I guess they’ve forgotten all those first responders who’ve now been gone long enough for a child to enter and exit our K-12 public school curriculum from start to finish.

What do I remember?  I was on the 7th floor of a children’s hospital teaching – when all the Disney channels moved to the national news.  Katie Couric looked shocked and I recall watching as the 2nd plane hit the twin towers – saying to the student next to me, “That looked like they did that on purpose…”  Reality set in.  But healthcare workers do not stand down.  They keep going.  I let the class go home about an hour early, knowing that the traffic would be impossible given all the military in the area.  I remember telling them to watch the sky – for it would hopefully be the only time in their lifetimes when there were no planes flying overhead other than those of our military.

I’ve been working from the hotel much of today, but had a chance to relive some of the footage I remember so clearly from that Tuesday in September.  I think the people falling/jumping from the building really unglued both me and my husband that day.  We had to turn off the television.  It hadn’t been since Bobby Kennedy that I literally felt sick watching TV.

And today?  We forget?  Knowing of all of the men and women who’ve gone to Iraq and Afghanistan and have lost their lives in the ripples that followed behind that morning….all connected.

Pray for peace.  Real peace.  The cessation of war and hostility.  The cessation of extremism in any form.  Balance people, balance.  We are angels dancing on the head of a pin…there is room for everyone.  No one need die.  We’re here to dance.

So far this weekend has been interesting.  Hubby did all the housework while I went to work on Saturday.  Well, let me correct that – he did all the housework except the bathrooms.  I am still grateful.  I worked longer than I wanted to and I ran back down the road to the Chinese place for orange chicken for dinner.  Hubby has changed over the years on this point.  When he was working, he would never consider that it might be a burden for me to cook a full meal after putting in my own hours on the job.  Housework was also not his thing – he preferred to work or fish.

Then came his first retirement.  For the first month, he tried to bring some order to his newly found freedom, but he also noticed that I literally never stopped.  Everything from the yard, to the housework, to the cooking, to the food buying, to the errand running – it was all my job, too.  Things slowly started to change.  He realized that my begging to eat out a couple of times a week was more of a cry of desperation.  My need for someone to help take the load of living in a house with 4 cats and grandkids was again – desperate.  He’s never been one for outside help.  I am still in favor of that.  But things are better.   I still spend a part of every weekend cleaning house and cooking, but it’s better.  My goal?  If I’m putting in 10-12 hour days 6 days a week – someone else does the heavy lifting at home.

He’s now on second retirement and I dream of mine.  But I’ve got a few hundred $K invested in a business and I need to get the investment back before I can pass the torch.  What’s happened this year is that we’ve all gotten totally overwhelmed by the workload and thus have stopped taking on customers.  Of course, we’re going to regret that now as the cash flow slows.  Meh.

More about work later.  So yesterday, being Labor Day weekend and owning a 14 year old mattress, we adventured out to “Sleepy’s” to test mattresses.  3 hours later we’re the proud owners of an adjustable TemperPedic which is going to set us back about $8K.  Yep.  You read that right.  Now, the Kingsdown that  we bought in 2000 cost about $1700 – which I also thought was absurd at the time.  I have no idea if this is going to work or not, but there is a 30 day return policy and trust me, for $8k if I can’t sleep, it’s going back.

I guess in the long run we’re prepped to spend a ton of money this year.  So far we have a new roof $21K, need new gutters $3.5 K, need a new kitchen (might come in at $25K), and we need to redo at least the master bath ($10K).  I am pressing hard for these renovations since we’ve lived a ridiculously frugal existence for the past 20 years while caring for son, son’s baby and his mother, hubby’s mother, hubby’s father, and started this business right at the time I have been ready to retire.  We’re recently inherited a substantial amount of money and I’ll be damned if I plane to die with even a few million dollars sitting in a bank.  This is a hard sell to husband who is Scots-Irish and even to me.  I’m not used to spending a bunch of cash.  But the reality is that what I want to buy is practical – a good kitchen, a safe bath, a roof that won’t leak until after we’re gone, gutters to keep hubby off ladders and digging pine needles out of same.  The bed, however, was a bit of a stretch.  It better be good.

Plan for the day?  Piddle around the house.  Head to Dillards (Clinique plus bonus) and Macy’s (Estee Lauder plus bonus).  Not sure what else. My fitbit seems to be having an issue with getting charged – readjusting that in hopes that I haven’t killed it.

Another week of:

• work
• back injury
• craziness from family member
• craziness from clients
• possibly lost major client
• sleeping
• cooking
• eating
• actually watching some TV because of back injury
• gutter/gutter guard assessment
• fasting for lab tests
• encouraging husband to enjoy his retirement
• trying to figure out how to be happy in my situation with owning and running a business

Thinking.  Thinking.  Thinking.

Will have grandson today and will try to get that bloodwork done this morning during fasting state.  Then to get him a haircut, make sure he has some decent school clothes, make sure he’s enrolled in afterschool program.

On the work-side:  Try to make a 10:30am meeting, figure out what to do with the bombshell that was dropped on company last night, occupy said child.  I seriously hope there is a good movie we can see, because I need the escape.  

OK – I survived the weekend – sort of.  Saturday was, in fact, dedicated to some cleaning.  But mostly there was a trip to the place where we *think* we might be getting new cabinets to replace the ones that were put in our 1978 house in 1978.  Hubby are I are going through an arguing phase, which is largely being triggered by me going through menopause and getting on the side of 50 that simply says, “Do not let people speak to you disrespectfully anymore.”  This is causing conflict.  My need to talk it out is causing conflict.  His desire to have a root canal rather than talk it out is causing conflict.  We also went to Costco and moved 17 boxes of bamboo flooring from Costco to truck and from truck to garage.  This likely triggered the back problem that followed on Sunday. 

Sunday – not much better.  The entire morning was spent cleaning and I managed to royally throw my back out.  I think by the time the husband realized how bad it was, the day was pretty much shot.  I managed to kill some of the pain with alcohol, but that didn’t stick.  So by bedtime it was muscle relaxers and a heating pad.  Remind me to replace it – I think it’s also from 1978.  

Back was stiff this morning, but not bad enough to keep me from getting in the car and heading for my private office.  I thought I had the day pretty much free to get caught up with things, but that went to hell in a hand basket thanks to a 3.5 hour meeting that started at 11:30 and went to 3pm.  My corporate partners were exhausted, and I’m not sure what, if anything got resolved.  Add to that the fact that we received a 37 page double-sided appeal to an appeal of an unemployment claim by a person who is increasingly revealing him/herself to have a major personality disorder, and we have a pretty typical Monday.

So – lest this become a blog of complaints, I must also give thanks.  The back is better.  My inbox has less than 100 unread messages.  We got 2 checks in the mail today.  I got a hamburger for dinner – so no cooking or cleaning up after.  

News today:  Burger King is trying to buy Tim Horton’s doughnuts and now the news says we should call for a Burger King boycott!   The private lives of Bob and Maureen McDonnell (Bob being former Governor of Virginia) are being now shown coast to coast on the CBC evening news.  Well, good news is that my marriage isn’t in that state.  Big quake in Napa today – biggest in 25 years.  Someone needs to design shelves that hold wine bottles in place when buildings rock from side to side.  Also, NEWS – kids who don’t sleep enough don’t do very well in school.  Duh.  Turn off the TV, kill the social media, stop drinking Red Bull and Mountain Dew, and make these kids go to bed at a decent hour.  I am old.  What do I know?

Also on the plus side – it’s August 25th and the temp didn’t break 80 today.  Of course, mid-90’s will return, but this is really nice. 

Let’s see what Tuesday looks like….

Just documenting here what a typical weekend might look like for me these days.  It’s changed a lot.

Saturdays are dedicated to all things cleaning – though I’m trying so hard to get away from that.  Despite my ability to pay for help, the husband refuses it and thus I’ve been living in a situation where Saturdays are dedicated to cleaning the house from stem-to-stern, washing clothes and such.  From that point on, the level of cleanliness begins to decay.  This is fine with hubby who is far less OCD than I am – and definitely borderline hoarder.  But since I’m the one working 10-14 hours a day, I really have to give way on what I’d prefer here.  What I’d LIKE is to have household help a couple of times a week to clean it and even cook a couple of meals.

This is not going to happen.