I’ve been enjoying a bit of a lighter load this summer.  Well, correction – a different load that feels lighter.  It’s either that, or I’m making some tiny strides toward freeing up time in my day.  Yeah, that’s probably it.  That, and oldest grandchild has been out of town for 2 weeks, so my responsibilities there are absent.

I’m now at a point of trying to prioritize all the work and personal things I want to get done in the short-, mid- and long-term.  Many of the work items have an almost identical level of importance and frankly, I’ve dreamed of having some minions more than once in the past couple of weeks.  I just need someone to push something forward and literally get the ball rolling.

Also, I’ve been reading more – both in my most recent field of expertise as well as for pleasure. The fact that I can do this speaks to the amount of free time I have.

Traveling next week for the whole week.  Will be encountering some former co-workers and am not sure how that’s going to go.  There are a ton of reasons why we’ve not had contact, and most are due to lies told about me when I departed my job over 3 years ago.  Others are related to the perception that I am in business competition with them.

I am torn – these folks who haven’t spoken or reached out in so long are themselves responsible for not even asking me about what is true and what is not.  I have been amazed at how quickly that what I considered strong friendships have been abandoned without even a word or question.  For me, this behavior has caused a loss of respect for them on my end.  I find it hard to fathom when folks just walk away from a friendship without having a direct conversation with the other party to confirm rumors and lies.  But it is what it is.  Probably not in my best interests to have any confrontations with these folks – though the reality is that I miss many of them.

We shall see how it goes.

The lack of work ethic today is mine.  I was up late last night in a call to Asia Pacific.  Still wake up at the same time every day no matter what.

One of my workers’ family members is having a health crisis.  My son, who has recently restored contact with me, is in a massive crisis as well.  Hubby is fishing.  I’ve got work to do, but really can’t get motivated.

It’s not the heat – it’s only 85.  Internet went out at the house so I’ve come to the office, only to find myself looking at Facebook and now blogging trivia.

Wondering if coffee would jolt me back to life….or just keep me awake tonight.

I think the title of this post says it all.  A 3.5 hour drive takes 6 hours.  I leave a hotel at 5:15am and am met with bumper-to-bumper traffic on I270.  There are few no-carb snacks to be had a gas stations.  Gas is 2.57 near the interstate – 5 miles later when I’m on a lesser traveled road it drops 20 cents a gallon.

If you were to look at the news today, you’d think that every police department in the country was hunting black people.  Bad things happen, but media magnifies it all way out of proportion.  On the positive side of that magnification is Donald Trump – who is really terribly entertaining as a political candidate, having absolutely no boundaries in his thoughts or actions.  Glad I’m not Lindsay Graham and don’t have to hunt (or have an assistant hunt) for a new cellphone number today.

Folks are tense at work and it looks kind of like Spring Fever – a restlessness.  I am getting some things done.  Not too many, but some.

Eldest grandson is visiting his other grandmother, other grandkids are doing a family event on their mother’s side so I have no obligations to speak of right now at home.

Today’s is the kind of boring existence I could use for about a month.

Over the past 24 hours, the same things have run over and over on the vast majority of US news channels:

1. Sentencing for James Holmes in the Oklahoma Theater Shooting 3 years ago.  Guilty of murder in the first degree on all counts.
2. Arraignment and scheduling of trial for Dylann Roof, the shooter at the Charleston AME church massacre on June 17.  The event that sparked the removal of the Confederate flag from the Capitol in SC.
3. Floods in the midwest.
4. The Iran Nuclear agreement.
5. Autumn Veach’s attempt to save her grandparents and herself after crashing a small airplane.
6. Planned Parenthood selling fetuses for research.
7. Bill Cosby – quaaludes and rape.

I have to admit that I am so overwhelmed by so many negative things in the news that I had to Google 1, 2, and 5 to be sure of the relevant names in these stories.

I watch the first 20 minutes of CBS This Morning every day when I can.  It’s hard news – delivered fast and to the point.  But with a bias.  Every element of every event examined from just the right perspective to lay seeds of controversy, outrage, doubt, and drama.  No matter how good reporters are these days, I really believe that the news is about the ratings and the profits.  And the media drives public opinion and culture – rather than simply reporting it.

1) I am passing more work to my subordinates.  Some like it, some hate it.  For me, it’s rather like watching 16-year-olds drive in heavy traffic.  I am mentally using my “brake” on the passenger floor.

2) I am taking a little better care of myself.  PT has gone out the window, but MUST resume.  Knee is better, weight is down.  Trying a bio-identical topical hormone cream.  Sleeping when I am tired.  Getting up way too early.  Cut my hair, lightening it up a bit.  Still have to tell my hairdresser of 12 years that I’ve moved on.  Avoiding that.

3) Clearing out some clutter.  Not much, but some.

4) Bought something crazy.  This fabric to put on my office chairs:

Got it for $75 a yd locally.  Win!

5) Into Season 2 of TURN – getting a little too dramatic for me.  But hey, I am watching a bit of TV and not working all the time.

6) Went outside today for 30 min with Roundup and attacked some weeds.  More to go.  Wish my back would tolerate just pulling them all up.  We definitely need better, less seedy mulch next year.

Such a boring life.  🙂

I have a friend I met when I was 13 years old.  Though we live hundreds of miles from each other now, and have for 25 years, we see each other once a year and pick up where we left off.  I know where she will want to go.  She knows what I’ll want to talk about.  We know where we will eat, and I know she will need a nap in the mid-afternoon.  I cannot imaging her not being on Earth with me even though we share only a few hours each year in each other’s presence.  For goodness sakes, we only “friended” each other on Facebook about a year ago.

I don’t have close friends.  I am a serial friend.  One who will grow close to people for a time, but then move away as life and interests wane or intervene.  Most of my friends are work-friends. I am no longer a church-goer as I find the guilt of not having enough time to make a reasonable contribution to the community too unacceptable to allow me to take what they offer.  I belong to few groups beyond those professional and thus impersonal.  I feel no compulsion to gather for social activities just for the sake of socialization.  I would do anything in the world for you if you were in need, but I’m told that I don’t ask nearly enough of others around me.

I say that as I grow older I’m becoming something of a big, fluffy (and at times cranky) cat.  One which will purr, observe, chase, and lay quietly.  One who when disturbed sometimes lashes out thus ensuring that a healthy distance is kept.  I don’t really mind this.  The crankiness is fading as peri-menopause wreaks its final havocs with my hormones and metabolism.

But I do wonder what I will do as I grow old?  With no one in particular to care for or about?  With child and grandchildren lost in their own lives?  Will I find then that this solitude is still to my liking?